Wednesday, May 16

Something Old, Something New...

The something old is me, as in -er than dirt, but the something new was indeed a new experience for me. I was a training aid for grocery store cashiers!
As I was struggling to get a jug of half'n'half out of the dairy case and into the small basket on my power scooter, a store employee approached me and asked if I could help her. After we got the jug squirreled away, she explained that she was the Training Supervisor for the grocery chain, they were training new cashiers, and would I be willing to give them a hand, as experience dealing with "the handicapped" (I *swear*, that's what she said!) was hard to come by. Being more than willing to increase the knowledge quotient of the Muggles, I agreed. Seems all I had to do was be "normal", except that I needed to explain what I was doing, and why, as I did it, when I checked out. (I had almost finished my shopping, see list below, which is why, I think, she approached me.) The trainees were not going to know that I was a training aid, which added to the fun.
As I approached the checkout, loaded to the gunwales, I tuned the facial expression to "bright and perky", the mouth to "free-form babble", and saw the TS tell a flock of the chicks to come "help" me. It was a hoot, watching those eager young'un's expressions, as we unloaded from the scooter:
4 lbs. pork chops
6 lbs. chicken breasts
1 gal. milk
1 box Wheaties
2 cucumbers
1 green pepper
1 bunch bananas
10 lbs. potatoes
2 lbs. sliced ham
1 lb. sliced corned beef
12 pkgs. ramen
2 loaves bread
18 lb. bag cat chow
large jug Tidy Cats Small Spaces litter
wrapped "to go" deli dinner
and the 1/2 gal jug of half'n'half
The girl running the cash register was so flustered, she asked me three separate times if I had my savings card with me. The second and third times, I had to tell her she had already scanned it. It was the baggers, though, that were the most entertainment. Keep in mind, now, that my mouth has been running almost non-stop through all of this, and was continuing, now explaining to the baggers how to pack the stuff. First thing to load on the scooter is the litter, which goes under the front part of the seat, lying on its' side, with the potatoes on top of it. Then the big bag of cat chow goes in front of that, between my legs. The meats all go in one bag, and, with the milk, fill the rear basket. The half'n'half and the veggies go in the front basket, keeping company with the bag of veggies already there from my previous stop at the produce market down the street, and filling it. The bread, Wheaties, and ramen go in bags hung from the arms of the seat. The deli dinner goes on top of the cat chow bag, where I can keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn't dump over. One of the baggers asked if it wouldn't be much simpler to just put the groceries in a regular cart, which he would be happy to push out to the parking lot and load into my car for me. So I got to explain to him that, in common with most people who live in (on?) scooters, I didn't HAVE a car, but that yes, if I did have a car, it would be infinitely simpler. I departed the check-out and the store, with an honor guard of six of the chicklets, and finally, at long last, was able to *shut up*! It was fun, though, popping misconceptions and amazing the masses.


Julianna said...

Ha! I found you! Heee!

Tsarina of Tsocks said...

So, um, 'scuse me, ma'am, but do you have your savings card with you? And really, don't you think it would be simpler to put all this in a... oh. Um. Never mind.